This is why I'm going to have 50 gazillion kids 12/16

Today Thumbelina was working really hard at sitting up.  She's 7 months old now, and while she's been almost crawling for the last 6-8 weeks, she has such a long back that it's been a little hard for her to not topple over.  :-)

So, this afternoon I was sitting on the floor with Thumbelina and Yogi Bear (just shy of 6) ran over and said "SHE IS DOING SUCH A GREAT JOB!"  He took the position opposite to me, behind her and said that he was going to be there just in case she started to fall.

This is why I'm going to have 50 gazillion kids.  Even at almost 6 years old, my son can see strength and rejoice in it, but he can readily identify weakness and vulnerability too, and steps right in to offer support.  To have that lesson already being learned: to see both strength and weakness and to be so happy, and simultaneously so prepared to protect.. to have that knowledge at almost 6 years old is something I never could have taught Yogi on my own.  That's something Thumbelina had to teach him for me.

And that's the reason for this week that I'm going to have 50 gazillion kids.

This is why I'm going to have 50 gazillion kids 11/29

Ooops... I forgot about my blog again.  Well, here's a post?  Today Papa Bear came home with a gigantic stack of papers, including his thoughts on ...

1.  His Comanche Name:  "Man that likes Red Soxs"  because he likes Red Sox.

2.  What he's thankful for: 

"I am thankful for my food, because without it I would starve all day.  I am thankful for my Dad, because he plays with me a lot.  I am thankful for my Mom, because she makes the food.  I am thankful for my sister, because she plays with me a lot.  I am thankful for my brother because he plays with me a lot.  I am thankful for my life, because without it I would not exist on the world."

It's just about 2 months away from 9 years from when we got pregnant with Papa Bear, being a couple of teenagers crazy enough to think that if they worked hard enough, and loved hard enough that they could be a family and that it would be worth whatever it took to get there.  I look back on ourselves then and smile, and know that those crazy, idealistic people too young to know any "better" were right. 

Papa Bear, we're thankful for your life, too, and our lives are so much richer and better for your existence.  Selfishly, we're glad to be able to see your happy smile, to watch how loving you are with all of your brothers and sisters, to read the papers that you bring home from school with you, and to know that you are our son.  We are so proud of you, and we love you.

And that's the reason of the week for Why We're Going to Have 50 Gazillion Kids.  

This is why I'm going to have 50 gazillion kids 9/14

Baby Bear just said his first sentence.  It was "How about a baby, Mom?" followed by giggles.  Already campaigning for more barbarians added to the horde.  Sheesh.  You'd think a 4 month old was still new enough, but evidently not?  And *that* is the reason for today that I'm going to have 50 gazillion kids.

I'll be the princess,you be the GIANT!

Reason of this week as to why I'm going to have 50 gazillion kids:

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a large group of school and pre-school aged children will play imaginative games involving princes, kings, princesses and dragons.  Furthermore, where there is a princess, there will need to be a giant/dragon/monster, whether the princess is held captive by the villainous creature or is (more likely) in cahoots with him.

And who is the most fitting character to play the dragon/giant/destroyer of worlds?  That's right: a two year old.  I currently have a 2 year old, so I have done my part to ensure that there is a supply of dragons/monsters/giants for the next year or so.  And, once he's outgrown being the monster, I'll have an up and coming dragon in the works who will be entering toddlerhood at that point. After all, what is the point of being a princess without a dragon to run away from or to send off to attack the king?  Without a dragon/monster/giant/alien, the entire story line gets really boring.

So, reason of the week for why I need to keep having my 50 gazillion kids?  So that there will always be a giant/dragon/monster/alien to be a destroyer of worlds, and cookie jar culprit. 

This is why I'm going to have 50 gazillion kids 8/11

Because when you make them birthday cakes involving Nutella and Ferrero Rocher, they make faces like this:

Happy 2nd birthday, Baby Bear!!!!!

Starting "THIS IS WHY YOU WILL HAVE 50 GAZILLION KIDS" posts

This is my hat tip to thisiswhyyourefat.com category, an attempt to elucidate in stunningly clear detail why Gil and I will be the parents of approximately 50 gazillion kids, give or take 5 gazillion.  I figure Tuesday is as good a day as any, as I absolutely despise Tuesdays.  Always have, always will. 

So, reason of the day that I will have 50 gazillion kids...

Baby girls have toenails that can be painted.  Thumbelina, Goldilocks and I are all sporting Cinderella Blue nail polish on our toes for August.  Baby girl toe nails:  just another reason why I'm going to wind up with 50 gazillion kids.

So, what's up with the eggs?

I realized this wasn't actually self explanatory, and figured I'd write a short blog post explaining.

Our last pregnancy, which brought us Thumbelina, actually started out as a twin pregnancy.  It was completely unexpected, and also marks the absolute last time I will ever go to an ultrasound appointment with no other adult present.  That's just asking for trouble, in our case twins.  Refereeing toddler arguments while having an ultrasound done?  Not good, people.  Just NOT GOOD.

So, while I'm sitting there pretty stunned and quickly calculating how I'm going to break the news to Gil that we'll need the full size van sooner rather than later, the tech keeps going back and forth over my ovaries to give the student present a detailed tour of my pelvis.  Incidentally, if there is a student present during an ultrasound (or any diagnostic procedure) I'd recommend ignoring him or her.  Receiving surprising news and then having a student loudly saying "hmmm" throughout your examination is slightly less than a desirable experience.

ANYWAYS...

While looking at my ovaries, she exclaimed "LOOK AT ALL THOSE FOLLICLES!!!" and I just about died.

So, look at all those eggs!  Guess we should probably go for the 15 instead of 12 seater when we upgrade after this interpregnancy lull, eh?

I'm going to try to update more regularly, or as regularly as one can reasonably do while parenting 5 kids under 8.  Have a great week!

Not a good start to the morning

Just before heading out the door to swim class, to take 5 children under 8 years old to the lake in our town, I noticed that a yogurt was out on the table.  No one had asked for a yogurt, and no one had been given permission to take a yogurt.  All the evidence pointed to one conclusion:  GRAND THEFT YOPLAIT!

However, on closer examination, a more serious crime emerged.  I'll let the picture speak for itself...

WHAT MANNER OF EVIL IS THIS!?!?!  SOMEONE NOT ONLY STOLE A YOGURT, BUT SUBMERGED A TRUCK IN IT!?  THEFT AND MUTILATION OF A PERFECTLY GOOD KEY LIME PIE YOGURT! 

There is only one person I know with a mind sick enough to perpetrate so great an evil.  With my camera in hand, and justice by my side, I confronted the evil-doer.  In my best Mom voice, I called his name.  He responded thus.

It's going to be a long day, folks.  A long, long day....

Paradise Lost: The Tragic Tale of a Boy And His Cake

A Story in Pictures

In the beginning was a boy, a boy who loved cake. His mommy loved him, and also loved cake, and therefore picked up a box of cake mix full of yummy preservatives and artificial coloring to demonstrate her great love of the boy, his brothers and sisters, and cake.

And the Mommy Made the Cake. It was lemon cake with raspberry jam
and cream cheese frosting.
And it was Good.


Due to the high levels of humidity of a balmy summer day, and the inherent temptation of lemon raspberry cake, Mommy put the cake in the fridge. Mommy said to the children "of all the goldfish in the pantry, and fruit in the fridge you may eat. But you may not eat of the cake of lemon raspberry goodness in the fridge."

Then Mommy went to fold a load of laundry, and the boy went alone into the kitchen.

N.B While there is no definitive proof of a snake, and the boy remains mum on the subject, we have come to our own feelings on the matter, but here is the aftermath...

And Mommy walked in the kitchen, and called the boy by name. He hid, but was discovered.

BUSTED



SEE HOW HE TRIES TO DEFEND HIS SIN



And Mommy said "Because you ate of the cake of lemon raspberry goodness from which you were forbidden to eat, you are booted from the kitchen."

Pain Caused by Sin



The Moral of the Story:

Do NOT steal the cake from the fridge, Baby Bear!


Tune in after dinner for Baby Bear: Paradise of Cake of Lemon Raspberry Goodness Regained

Last day of school

YAY!!!!!!

That means that this will not be our reality every day anymore! Well, at least not until Fall... By the way, dark sunglasses? Great way to look unapproachable enough to ward off at least some of the "gee, you have your hands full!" comments. Sure, I may be rocking the Posh Spice glasses, but it is TOTALLY WORTH IT to keep some of those comments at bay. I need to write a whole post on that. The "have your spouse spayed or neutered!" contingent have been particularly driving me up the wall lately.

We're going to have to sign Papa, Yogi and Goldilocks up for swim classes and I need to make my summer plan for those three in terms of reading, history, etc. I turn our house into quasi homeschooling over the summers, very informally of course, but good practice for if I ever do decide to pull kids from school and teach them at home.

And we'll be baking a lemon cake with raspberry filling and cream cheese frosting to celebrate the demise... er, end of the school year.

Anyone else have interesting plans for this summer? I'm up for new ideas, so please feel free to make suggestions!

NOTICE

If you are looking for profoundly important content that will Change! Your! Life!

...you're probably not going to find it here.

This blog is dedicated to the utter nonsense which constitutes every day life with 5 (and counting!) children. Looking for meaningful reflection on Topic X? I mean, I can *try*, but generally speaking you'll be more likely to hear about the epic battle of chasing down a toddler because he stole all the brownies than about any serious topics with any degree of regularity.

I anticipate writing about pregnancy, parenting, papistry, and at this point you may be hearing a good amount about my intense love of Oreos. Our most recent egg has recently hatched, and yet Oreos are still calling my name with their siren songs saying "P3... P3??? You were such a good pregnant lady in avoiding sugar for *so long*, but you're in your inter-pregnancy break! Surely you can come for a good long visit to Oreoland for now!" I, for one, find this brand of logic entirely plausible, and therefore will listen to my HFCS overlords. Oh, and coffee. The Perpetually Pregnant Papist runs on coffee. Generally a blend of Sumatra and Vienna Roast. But yes, pregnancy (because I have embraced my destiny as the mother of 50 gazillion children), parenting (because 50 gazillion children need to be parented, or they will Destroy The World!!!!111!!eleventy1!!11!), and papistry because popes are awesome.

St. Francis of Assisi said to preach the Gospel at all times, but to only use words when necessary. Well, this is the internet. Barring a YouTube presentation of interpretive dance, words are about all I've got right now in terms of talking about life in my outpost on the edge of the interwebs.

So, I will aspire to writing the nonsense to which I've dedicated my life. Here's the cast of characters.

P3: Me! I'm old enough to have 5 children, young enough to get carded, and that's all I'll say about age. I have my B.A. in Theology, currently do freelance web work and like to do a lot of reading and baking. My preferred job title is "Fairy Princess Trophy Wife." Laundry is my "fatal flaw" in that I constantly battle it and I'm certain it will be the death of me.

My last 3 children have been born at home with midwives, although I would not identify myself as a home birth or natural birth advocate. My concern is for a judicious use of technology with a view towards humanized birth, so that whatever birth a family needs (caesarean birth, VBAC, home birth, etc) is available and empowers them with confidence going forward as they welcome that child/those children. Also, I like nail polish and margaritas on the rocks. And Oreos. Did I mention the Oreos?

My Husband "Gil" (as in "Golly I'm Lucky" and I am referring to me being lucky to have him, not vice versa, although...): Now, Gil is Much Much Older Than Me, but we won't hold it against him. 10 months age difference is a lot, but he still looks spry and peppy even at his advanced age. Gil is also being called Gil in homage to the Anne of Green Gables series, because of our fairly non-conventional courtship which involved a high school Western Civ textbook being used to whack Gil on the head for being a pest. After about 3 years of me avoiding Gil and Gil having a crush on me, we started dating and married a year later. We've been married for a little over 8 years now, because we get along quite well, and there is absolutely no one else in the world who would put up with either of us.

Gil does work involving computers for a place that does Very Important Things for Very Important People, actually enjoys doing outdoorsy things and once made us all go camping. Hilarity ensued. Or NOT! Gil's current interests are politics, sports (playing), weight lifting and figuring out when we need to upsize to a full size van and whether we should be looking at a 12 or 15 seat van. Both of us consider ourselves to be connoisseurs of human folly, and enjoy renting ridiculously stupid movies (Twilight, The Da Vinci Code, 7th Heaven, etc) to make fun of them.

Together we have 5 children so far, and we like them. We like them very much. They are the 3 Bears, Goldilocks and Thumbelina.

Papa Bear: Almost 8 year old boy, memory like a steel trap, enjoys science and just got glasses. Papa Bear loves taking care of the kids who are younger than him, and does a really good job of it.

Yogi Bear: 5 1/2 year old boy, hilarious sense of humor, takes off shirt to run around living room "exercising." Yogi Bear is thus titled because the kid Never. Stops. Eating.

Goldilocks: 3 year old girl, curly blonde hair and a mind of her own. She's about 90% competent at whatever she tries, but it's that last 10% that results in Trouble. She has golden locks, and frequently describes things as "too hot" or "too cold."

Baby Bear: Almost 2 year old boy, responsible for greater than 50% of the dessert theft in the house, current favorite words are "MOMMY!" and "MINE!!!!" First sentence for Baby Bear is "I'M HUNGRY RIGHT NOW!"

Thumbelina: 1 month old baby girl who enjoys long walks and nursing, and she likes to hold onto my thumb whenever I'm holding her.

That's it! Now if you'll excuse me, off to battle some laundry...

Testing, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5?

Let's see if I actually keep up with this blog, instead of ignoring it like the ruins of so many other blogs that I've started over the years. Hey, it could happen! Maybe? I think?