Thursday, June 24, 2010

Paradise Lost: The Tragic Tale of a Boy And His Cake

A Story in Pictures

In the beginning was a boy, a boy who loved cake. His mommy loved him, and also loved cake, and therefore picked up a box of cake mix full of yummy preservatives and artificial coloring to demonstrate her great love of the boy, his brothers and sisters, and cake.

And the Mommy Made the Cake. It was lemon cake with raspberry jam
and cream cheese frosting.
And it was Good.

Due to the high levels of humidity of a balmy summer day, and the inherent temptation of lemon raspberry cake, Mommy put the cake in the fridge. Mommy said to the children "of all the goldfish in the pantry, and fruit in the fridge you may eat. But you may not eat of the cake of lemon raspberry goodness in the fridge."

Then Mommy went to fold a load of laundry, and the boy went alone into the kitchen.

N.B While there is no definitive proof of a snake, and the boy remains mum on the subject, we have come to our own feelings on the matter, but here is the aftermath...

And Mommy walked in the kitchen, and called the boy by name. He hid, but was discovered.



And Mommy said "Because you ate of the cake of lemon raspberry goodness from which you were forbidden to eat, you are booted from the kitchen."

Pain Caused by Sin

The Moral of the Story:

Do NOT steal the cake from the fridge, Baby Bear!

Tune in after dinner for Baby Bear: Paradise of Cake of Lemon Raspberry Goodness Regained

Last day of school


That means that this will not be our reality every day anymore! Well, at least not until Fall... By the way, dark sunglasses? Great way to look unapproachable enough to ward off at least some of the "gee, you have your hands full!" comments. Sure, I may be rocking the Posh Spice glasses, but it is TOTALLY WORTH IT to keep some of those comments at bay. I need to write a whole post on that. The "have your spouse spayed or neutered!" contingent have been particularly driving me up the wall lately.

We're going to have to sign Papa, Yogi and Goldilocks up for swim classes and I need to make my summer plan for those three in terms of reading, history, etc. I turn our house into quasi homeschooling over the summers, very informally of course, but good practice for if I ever do decide to pull kids from school and teach them at home.

And we'll be baking a lemon cake with raspberry filling and cream cheese frosting to celebrate the demise... er, end of the school year.

Anyone else have interesting plans for this summer? I'm up for new ideas, so please feel free to make suggestions!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


If you are looking for profoundly important content that will Change! Your! Life!'re probably not going to find it here.

This blog is dedicated to the utter nonsense which constitutes every day life with 5 (and counting!) children. Looking for meaningful reflection on Topic X? I mean, I can *try*, but generally speaking you'll be more likely to hear about the epic battle of chasing down a toddler because he stole all the brownies than about any serious topics with any degree of regularity.

I anticipate writing about pregnancy, parenting, papistry, and at this point you may be hearing a good amount about my intense love of Oreos. Our most recent egg has recently hatched, and yet Oreos are still calling my name with their siren songs saying "P3... P3??? You were such a good pregnant lady in avoiding sugar for *so long*, but you're in your inter-pregnancy break! Surely you can come for a good long visit to Oreoland for now!" I, for one, find this brand of logic entirely plausible, and therefore will listen to my HFCS overlords. Oh, and coffee. The Perpetually Pregnant Papist runs on coffee. Generally a blend of Sumatra and Vienna Roast. But yes, pregnancy (because I have embraced my destiny as the mother of 50 gazillion children), parenting (because 50 gazillion children need to be parented, or they will Destroy The World!!!!111!!eleventy1!!11!), and papistry because popes are awesome.

St. Francis of Assisi said to preach the Gospel at all times, but to only use words when necessary. Well, this is the internet. Barring a YouTube presentation of interpretive dance, words are about all I've got right now in terms of talking about life in my outpost on the edge of the interwebs.

So, I will aspire to writing the nonsense to which I've dedicated my life. Here's the cast of characters.

P3: Me! I'm old enough to have 5 children, young enough to get carded, and that's all I'll say about age. I have my B.A. in Theology, currently do freelance web work and like to do a lot of reading and baking. My preferred job title is "Fairy Princess Trophy Wife." Laundry is my "fatal flaw" in that I constantly battle it and I'm certain it will be the death of me.

My last 3 children have been born at home with midwives, although I would not identify myself as a home birth or natural birth advocate. My concern is for a judicious use of technology with a view towards humanized birth, so that whatever birth a family needs (caesarean birth, VBAC, home birth, etc) is available and empowers them with confidence going forward as they welcome that child/those children. Also, I like nail polish and margaritas on the rocks. And Oreos. Did I mention the Oreos?

My Husband "Gil" (as in "Golly I'm Lucky" and I am referring to me being lucky to have him, not vice versa, although...): Now, Gil is Much Much Older Than Me, but we won't hold it against him. 10 months age difference is a lot, but he still looks spry and peppy even at his advanced age. Gil is also being called Gil in homage to the Anne of Green Gables series, because of our fairly non-conventional courtship which involved a high school Western Civ textbook being used to whack Gil on the head for being a pest. After about 3 years of me avoiding Gil and Gil having a crush on me, we started dating and married a year later. We've been married for a little over 8 years now, because we get along quite well, and there is absolutely no one else in the world who would put up with either of us.

Gil does work involving computers for a place that does Very Important Things for Very Important People, actually enjoys doing outdoorsy things and once made us all go camping. Hilarity ensued. Or NOT! Gil's current interests are politics, sports (playing), weight lifting and figuring out when we need to upsize to a full size van and whether we should be looking at a 12 or 15 seat van. Both of us consider ourselves to be connoisseurs of human folly, and enjoy renting ridiculously stupid movies (Twilight, The Da Vinci Code, 7th Heaven, etc) to make fun of them.

Together we have 5 children so far, and we like them. We like them very much. They are the 3 Bears, Goldilocks and Thumbelina.

Papa Bear: Almost 8 year old boy, memory like a steel trap, enjoys science and just got glasses. Papa Bear loves taking care of the kids who are younger than him, and does a really good job of it.

Yogi Bear: 5 1/2 year old boy, hilarious sense of humor, takes off shirt to run around living room "exercising." Yogi Bear is thus titled because the kid Never. Stops. Eating.

Goldilocks: 3 year old girl, curly blonde hair and a mind of her own. She's about 90% competent at whatever she tries, but it's that last 10% that results in Trouble. She has golden locks, and frequently describes things as "too hot" or "too cold."

Baby Bear: Almost 2 year old boy, responsible for greater than 50% of the dessert theft in the house, current favorite words are "MOMMY!" and "MINE!!!!" First sentence for Baby Bear is "I'M HUNGRY RIGHT NOW!"

Thumbelina: 1 month old baby girl who enjoys long walks and nursing, and she likes to hold onto my thumb whenever I'm holding her.

That's it! Now if you'll excuse me, off to battle some laundry...

Testing, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5?

Let's see if I actually keep up with this blog, instead of ignoring it like the ruins of so many other blogs that I've started over the years. Hey, it could happen! Maybe? I think?